Master and Slave

BDSM is a complex issue that involves many different iterations of sex. At its core BDSM is about the interaction between a master, and a slave; top and bottom; dominant, and submissive. There are many different names that can be attributed to the two main rolls in a BDSM relationship, however no matter what the name they all in some way or another reference an individual taking control of another person with the ultimate goal of sexual gratification for both parties.

BDSM overcomes the traditional conventions of heterosexual and homosexual sex in that it is not something unique to one but an act shared among two people that involves more eroticism from the act its self then from any part of the persons anatomy.

At the end of the day BDSM is mostly about control, and releasing it to another person. It does not necessarily have to be in the stereotypical form of someone leading another person along in a dog collar, but can take more subtle forms like being dominant in the bedroom, and controlling the flow of sex. While this does not necessarily make sense to the average non BDSM person; to someone interested in the practice it is a fantastic sexual stimulation. There are a ton of theories as to why people become aroused by relinquishing (and oppositely taking) control, but there is no one definite answer that pleases everyone, probably because everyone’s reasons are slightly different. The good news is that BDSM is no longer considered a psychological sickness, and in most places consensual (and somewhat tame) BDSM is within the confines of the law (check local listings).

If you are curious about BDSM I would skip the porn sites, as these tend to be a little fast and loose with accurate information, and skip instead to books. It might be a little embarrassing to pick up a book from your local independent bookstore about this subject, but Amazon will be able to help you out here. Plus you now have the added bonus of having user reviews for many of the titles offered.

There are two absolute musts in the world of BDSM, one; that your partner is consensual, and two; that you both respect each others “safe word”. That you are both consensual goes with out saying of course, but I feel it is still worth noting. Consensual means more then just being agreeable to having sexual relations with you, but must also extend to understanding an agreeing with the included BDSM practices you intend to utilize. The safe word is pretty much a no brainier, essentially it means that the two of you choose a word at the beginning of your play time that will call to a halt all of the activities. This ensures that nothing will get out of hand, and the submissive can play out any fantasies without confusing their partner (no really meaning yes, and whatnot).

The most important part of a pleasurable BDSM experience is trust between partners, knowing that your partner will stop when appropriate, and that they will not really cause you injury is the most important aspect of enjoying this forbidden pleasure. So if you feel so inclined (and have a willing partner) lace up those boots, crack that whip and don't look back.